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You KNOW  you wondered!

Via Wikipedia: Auld Lang Syne is a Scots poem written by Robert Burns in 1788 and set to the tune of a traditional folk song (Roud # 6294). It is well known in many English-speaking (and other) countries and is often sung to celebrate the start of the New Year at the stroke of midnight. By extension, its use has also become common at funerals, graduations, and as a farewell or ending to other occasions.

The song’s Scots title may be translated into English literally as “old long since”, or more idiomatically, “long long ago”,”days gone by” or “old times”. Consequently “For auld lang syne”, as it appears in the first line of the chorus, is loosely translated as “for (the sake of) old times”.

Original Scottish Version English Translation

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and auld lang syne

CHORUS:

For auld lang syne, my jo,
for auld lang syne,
we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

And surely ye’ll be your pint-stowp!
and surely I’ll be mine!
And we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

CHORUS

We twa hae run about the braes,
and pu’d the gowans fine;
But we’ve wander’d mony a weary fit,
sin auld lang syne.

CHORUS

We twa hae paidl’d i’ the burn,
frae morning sun till dine;
But seas between us braid hae roar’d
sin auld lang syne.

CHORUS

And there’s a hand, my trusty fiere!
and gie’s a hand o’ thine!
And we’ll tak a right gude-willy waught,
for auld lang syne.

CHORUS

Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind?
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and old lang syne?

CHORUS:

For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we’ll take a cup of kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

And surely you’ll buy your pint cup!
and surely I’ll buy mine!
And we’ll take a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

CHORUS

We two have run about the slopes,
and picked the daisies fine;
But we’ve wandered many a weary foot,
since auld lang syne.

CHORUS

We two have paddled in the stream,
from morning sun till dine;
But seas between us broad have roared
since auld lang syne.

CHORUS

And there’s a hand my trusty friend!
And give us a hand o’ thine!
And we’ll take a right good-will draught,
for auld lang syne.

CHORUS

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He cries in TV interviews, he cries on the floor of the House of Representatives, he cries at the RNC. And he laughs all the way to the bank.

Why does talking about kids make incoming House Speaker John Boehner so weepy? Well, maybe because he’s about to screw over a whole generation of them. I know that would get me a bit misty. Still, I’d have to hydrate for most of the day to run the kind of irrigation Boehner does in every damn speech.

via Doug Molitor: 12 Things That Make Boehner Cry (Doug’s Dozen VIDEO)

C&T:  Sigh.  Just one more thing about John Boehner that irritates the living fuck outta me.  Ya know, if he was a woman, he’s be called “too emotional”.  But because he’s a man, he’s called (not by me) “sensitive”.  Bullshit.  I remain unimpressed.  Glenn Beck‘s a weeper, and so was Jimmy Swaggart.  Assclowns, all.

       

 

SANTA ANA, Calif. — A Festivus for the rest of us? A convicted drug dealer in California thinks so. He cited his adherence to the holiday celebrated on a famous episode of “Seinfeld” to get better meals at the Orange County jail.

Festivus In Jail: Inmate Gets Kosher Meals Due To Festivus Belief

C&T:  This is funny and I can’t believe the judge fell for it.

5,244,972 VIEWS!??!?  Holy cat shit!

Okay, okay, no more screwing around. Lets get serious here. I’ve been putting off running on this squeaky, plastic wheel all day long, and now its—Christ, is that clock right? Is it 10:30 already? Man oh man, it is way later than I thought. Looks like I got myself a long, long night of spinning a noisy wheel around in a circle here.  All right, squeaky wheel.  From now till dawn, its you and me, buddy. Weve gotta burn some midnight oil.

I’d love to just pass out right here in this pile of wood shavings, but this bad boy aint going to spin itself, you know what I’m saying? Do I wish Id gotten a head start on the wheel- running this morning instead of making a nest out of hair and paper scraps and curling up inside of it for five hours? Sure, of course. But hey, whats the use of worrying about “what if” when theres work to be done? Hell, I spin better at night anyway.

via This Squeaky Wheel And I Are Pulling An All-Nighter | The Onion – America’s Finest News Source

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Email Yux: TSA Bumper Stickers

Got this in email today.  Yeah, I guffawed.

ST. MORITZ, SWITZERLAND—One hundred fifty of the world’s most powerful people in the fields of politics, banking, business, and media met this past weekend at an exclusive Swiss resort for the 54th annual invitation-only summit where they show each other their penises.

via World’s Power Brokers Hold Annual Summit Where They Show Each Other Their Penises | The Onion – America’s Finest News Source

ThinkGeek : Canned Unicorn Meat

From “Radiant Farms”……”Excellent source of sparkles”……”Magic in every bite”!  For holiday gift-giving, no doubt.  Better stock up….

Know your Satanic markings!

WTF!  Whoda thunk this was necessary?  Not me…..this is weird, from the  Law Enforcement Guide to Satanic Cults, and is listed in the FBI’s official list of resources on “Beheadings & Ritual Murders.”  And what’s with the “chipper” music at the end?

Things that make you ask WTF?

Bristol Palin’s Number One Unfan of the Day: To say that 67-year-old Wisconsinite Steven Cowan doesn’t care much for pro-abstinence potty-mouth Bristol Palin would be somewhat of an understatement.

via The Daily What

How to Gift Wrap a Cat

WASHINGTON—Days after the accidental passage of a bill allocating $30 trillion in federal subsidies to soybean producers, a massive tide of the protein-rich legumes has flooded the nation, crippling transportation networks, commerce, and public utilities, and profoundly disrupting American life.

via Nation Waist-Deep In Soybeans After $30 Trillion Farm Subsidy Bill Accidentally Passed | The Onion – America’s Finest News Source

Saturday was the long-awaited Rally To Restore Sanity And/Or Fear in Washington D.C., and Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert did not disappoint.

via The Funniest Signs From The Rally To Restore Sanity And/Or Fear! (PHOTOS)

COOS BAY, Ore. (AP) – Police say a man who tried to distill the active ingredient from marijuana using butane gas inadvertently caused an explosion that sent the door of his refrigerator through a wall in his home.

via Explosive marijuana experiment destroys freezer, fridge | APP.com | Asbury Park Press

C&T:  Calling all dumbasses!

On Wednesday, Alexandra V. Tobias pled guilty to second degree murder for shaking her baby to death.
At the time of her arrest in January, 22-year-old Tobias reportedly told police that she was playing FarmVille on Facebook and got angry when the three-month-old Dylan Lee Edmondson began to cry.

via Mother Alexandra V. Tobias Shakes Baby For Interrupting FarmVille, Pleads Guilty To Murder

C&T:  Fucking FARMVILLE??  I think I may vomit.  That poor child.  Ya know, this world is sicker than even I can imagine.  And I’m pretty warped.  Raising imaginary chickens and building a virtual barn is more important than your baby?  Fucking FARMVILLE??  The game interruption was very probably the straw that broke the camel’s back with this woman’s obvious issues and immaturity.  Sad beyond belief.  Here’s to her stint in the Big House being pure, unadulterated Hell.  I’m going to lay down awhile with a cold cloth over my eyes.  Fucking FarmVille.

Liberals may owe their political outlook partly to their genetic make-up,according to new research from the University of California, San Diego,and Harvard University.  Ideology is affected not just by social factors, but also by a dopamine receptor gene called DRD4. The study’sauthors say this is the first research to identify a specific gene that predisposes people to certain political views.

via University of California – UC Newsroom | Researchers find a ‘liberal gene’

C&T: My  mostly Republican family will be shocked to learn my liberal left-wing views may be “biological”… that being said, if it IS biological, I may indeed be the milkman’s child.

Thx to julieg for the link!

Archaeologist Tired Of Unearthing Unspeakable, Ancient Evils

Archaeologist Tired Of Unearthing Unspeakable, Ancient Evils | The Onion – America’s Finest News Source | Onion Radio News

No one should be immune from criticism. Not even the great masters of the art world–they’re humans just like the rest of us. So please indulge us while we take a look at lauded works of genius created by artists far, far more talented than we are, and laugh at them.

via 7 Famous Works of Art With Bizarre Mistakes You Can’t Unsee | Cracked.com

C&T: Only hilarious.  LOTS o’ hidden dicks to be found.

Funny C&T Comment SPAM

Got a SPAM comment today in response to the “Suspect Denies Owning Cocaine Hidden in his Ass” post.  Goes to show you these SPAM assclowns don’t have a clue as to how obvious they are.  It reads as follows:

“Sorry for my bad english. Thank you so much for your good post. Your post helped me in my college assignment, If you can provide me more details please email me.”

So…I wonder what school he goes to?  What class would have shoved-up-the-ass-dope-smuggling as a topic?  What details may I include in my email?  Ah, the mystery…….ROFLMFAO!

(CNN) — It’s not shocking to see a woman talking on her cell phone while walking down the street. It is, however, shocking when the woman is an extra in a silent film from 1928.

via Cell phone ‘time traveler’ seen in silent film – CNN.com

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