Category: I’m just sayin’ …


 Staff have had to turn grieving families away because their deceased relatives were too large to fit in the current machines.

via Crematorium buys supersize incinerator for fat bodies – Telegraph

C&T: Sad, ain’t it?  There was a guy down here in San Antonio that set the crematorium on file when they torched him.  Swear to God.

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C&T: Holy Shit!  I can barely believe there are “Do’s and Don’ts” for accidental amputation.  I broke my leg as kid while ice skating, and when I looked down, my foot was pointing in the wrong direction.  It’s hilarious now,  but I caused myself more injury by grabbing my foot in a panic and twisting it back into the “right” position.  Big mistake and lesson learned.   I dunno about you, but the next time I’m in a knife fight and an eyeball gets dislodged, I’ll try to refrain from popping it back in.

People often don’t know what to do with a body part that’s become derailed, doctors say:

DO:

  • Keep detached fingers and toes cold but don’t put directly in ice, experts say
  • With knocked-out tooth, keep the ligament trailing off the end of the tooth moist

DON’T:

  • If eyeball becomes dislodged, don’t try to put it back, doctor warns

via What to do when body parts fall off – CNN.com

 
Terry Jones, the Florida pastor threatening to burn a Koran tomorrow on the anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, was a high school classmate of Rush Limbaugh.

via Rush Limbaugh, Pastor Terry Jones Were High School Classmates

Is it bigger than a breadbox? Probably.

 
Los Angeles, California (CNN)
— A tell-all book by a former “Girls Gone Wild” photographer alleges that Paris Hilton once smuggled illegal drugs into Europe using a cigarette box hidden inside her body.

via Book alleges Paris Hilton had special hiding place for drugs – CNN.com

C&T:  She can hide a cigarette box in her snatch?  That thing’s got so much mileage on it she could probably hide a bus.  It’ll stretch a mile before it will rip an inch.

Well.  Guess they didn’t see that coming…it is certain.  I will say there is a vast difference between a “fortune-teller” (think Miss Cleo) and a true psychic (think James Van Praagh).  For a free “fortune-teller” type reading, ask the Mystical Smoking Head of Bob; way more accurate than Madame Blavatsky.

 

Starting this week, fortune tellers in Warren, Mich., must be fingerprinted and pay an annual fee of $150 — plus $10 for a police background check — to practice their craft. The new rules are among America’s strictest on palmists, fortune readers, and other psychics — and part of a growing push to regulate a business that has never been taken, or overseen, very seriously.

via In the Crystal Ball: More Regulation for Psychics – TIME

Andromeda, or the next-door neighbor who NEVER remembers to shut off the porch light.

LONDON, England (CNN) — God did not create the universe, world-famous physicist Stephen Hawking argues in a new book that aims to banish a divine creator from physics.  Hawking says in his book “The Grand Design” that, given the existence of gravity, “the universe can and will create itself from nothing,” according to an excerpt published Thursday in The Times of London.
“Spontaneous creation is the reason why there is something rather than nothing, why the universe exists, why we exist,” he writes in the excerpt.
“It is not necessary to invoke God to light the blue touch paper [fuse] and set the universe going,” he writes.

via Stephen Hawking: God didn’t create universe – CNN.com.

Well, I won’t be drawn into the argument…it could go on for…..infinity.  But I do think it would be intreresting to look for “God” in physics.  Not that I was ever any good at math.  This is the way I solved “pi squared over 6”:

"6"

 

The State Fair of Texas has announced the finalists for the 2010 Big Tex Choice Award. We all thought last year’s winner for Most Creative — deep fried butter — was wacky. But how about fried beer? That made it into this years list of finalists — here’s a Morning News story that tells it all. Fried beer, in case you’re wondering, is actually a beer-filled pretzel pocket. The beer that oozes out when you bite it, apparently, serves as a dipping sauce. A fried frozen margarita isn’t liquid at all — it’s a funnel cake dusted with a lemon-lime mixture and “lightly spritzed with south of the border flavor.” Would that be tequila? ID is required to partake of both.

via Fried beer! Fried frozen margaritas! Big Tex has spoken (for now). | EATS Blog | dallasnews.com

I still can’t believe I left New Jersey for this.  They’ll dip anything in batter and fry it down here.  And I gotta tell ya…Texans wonder why there’s so many humongous people tippin’ the scales like a side of beef.   WTF?  I thought 2+2=4, but I could be wrong…

THE Haggler, as regular readers know, typically works on a very grand and ambitious scale, swashbuckling for consumer justice with just his bare hands and a telephone. The results often dazzle and amaze. But much of what is vexing about life as an American consumer today are teeny-weeny irritations — minor outrages that add up to a low background hum of bother.

In this episode, we present the Haggler’s own quick tour of what you might call pet peeves, though that term is slightly belittling. Let’s just call them peeves. These are changes that the Haggler will impose by fiat the day after he is named Global Consumer Czar of Everything Consumer-Related, which is definitely going to happen someday.

via Enough, Already! One Consumer’s Pet Peeves – Yahoo! Finance

Thx, Julie!

Check out the SnazzyNapper!  Now you won’t feel so dumb for buying that leopard print Snuggie.

Why do we have to be up each other’s ass 24/7?

I admit it, I’m gettin’ old.  54 fun-filled years.  I try to be patient with the young ‘uns, Lord knows I do.  And while I’m not old enough to remember hoop skirts, I do remember when we had ONE telephone and no voice mail, people wrote letters and licked a stamp, and you had plenty to talk about when you told someone about your day.  And while I’m not standing on the street yelling “get a horse!” at passing autos, I am wondering where the obsession to be constantly in touch with others came from.  Are we really that insecure?

Now we are subjected to a blow-by-blow, minute-by-minute account of everyone’s activities.  I’m not a Technology Scrooge; heck, I work on web development all day for a living.  But I simply cannot understand why we all have to be up in each other’s business all day, every day, eight days a week.  Believe me, I don’t give a shit if you’re sipping a latte at Starbuck’s or wiping your kid’s ass.  The minutiae of your day holds no interest for me, and probably not too many others, either.  To be fair, why should you care what I’m doing?  WTF.

But some technology, to me, goes a little too far.  The video below is about a summer resort in Israel for teens (and the young-at-heart) called Coca-Cola Village.  Hmmm….caffiene, kids, sugar….already I’m nervous.  But the point is they interfaced everyone’s wristband to Facebook, so whenever they went somewhere and flashed their “badge” it updated Facebook automatically.  That’s way TMI for this grandma.  Not to mention…privacy? Stalkers who want to know where you are?  Maybe a secret you want to keep?  OK, OK, it was all in good, clean fun (I hope)… but I’m thinking of future applications of the same technology and it’s a little disconcerting.  It makes me nervous to think about knowing it’s happening…and it makes me paranoid to think of the sneaky and unscrupulous folks that will use it when we don’t know about it.  If you’re not concerned, you should be.  Every time you use a credit card, a cell phone, the Internet, you are giving out way more information than you realize.  We all have a right to privacy, although there are some out there that seem to think you do not; and will go to great lengths to gather information about you…whether they’re advertisers targeting you for advertising, the NSA, or someone who wants your credit card info.  Just think about it.  Sleep well!

WTF?! Get down to business?

Oh the olden days, when men were men … who showered together. There’s nothing funnier than unintentionally sexual ads, except maybe unintentionally sexual vintage ads. We’ve scoured the very back-ends of the Internet to bring you the best in early “hidden” homoerotica. via The Most Homoerotic Vintage Ads Of All Time (PHOTOS)

Direct quote from the ad copy at left: “‘STRETCHY SEAT’ is a Munisingwear exclusive. It is a special horizontal panel knitted to give up and down…Men find it so comfortable they keep coming back for more.”  “Yowsa!” sez I! ROFLMAO!

Grope Claim Against Donald Duck | The Smoking Gun


Well, he IS a sailor!

AUGUST 10–While visiting Epcot Center in Florida, a Pennsylvania woman alleges that a Disney employee dressed as Donald Duck grabbed her breast and molested her after she sought an autograph.  After the alleged groping, Donald Duck made gestures–apparently with his snowy white hands—“indicating he had done something wrong,” according to a lawsuit filed last month by … via Grope Claim Against Donald Duck | The Smoking Gun

Eternal,  my ass

No shit…they must’ve taken more than one or two of these photos here in San Antonio.  I’ve seen some truly butt-ugly car hoods down here.  Lots of virginal (?), half-naked Mayan or Aztec princesses with huge rubbery tits  and fat asses being tossed into volcanoes or having their heart cut out while a virile warrior in a loincloth weeps copious tears nearby.  How fuckin’ romantic.   

Oh yeah!  You also HAVE to have your last name in the back window written in huge Olde English font.

The Most Ridiculous Car Hoods Of All Time (PHOTOS)
   

Thx, mansonsturtle!

NPR vs. Fox

Got this email today.  Since when is FOX News a news organization?  Completely biased and will LIE if they have to.  WTF.  It’s NO CONTEST.  Give it to NPR or Bloomberg!

Dear MoveOn member,

As early as Sunday, the White House Correspondents’ Association will decide which news organization will be awarded a recently-vacated front-row center seat in the White House briefing room.

The contenders? National Public Radio, Bloomberg News—and Fox.

Yes, Fox—which we all know is actually a tool in the right-wing propaganda machine, not a legitimate news organization. They simply don’t deserve the best seat in the White House briefing room—a seat held for years by journalist Helen Thomas until she retired recently.

So we’re joining our friends at CREDO Action to petition the Correspondents’ Association to award the seat to a real, public news organization: NPR.

Can you sign the petition today? Tell the Correspondents’ Association to give the best seat in the briefing room to NPR, not Fox.

http://pol.moveon.org/nprvsfox/?id=22165-3465982-dGGooJx&t=3

The petition says, “Give Helen Thomas’ former briefing room seat to NPR, which has provided public interest coverage for decades—not Fox, which is a right-wing propaganda tool, not a legitimate news organization.”

Then, please forward this email to your friends and post on Facebook and Twitter so we can spread the news faster. Already 140,000 people have signed onto this call through CREDO Action. Help us get up to 250,000 before the meeting on Sunday!

Winning this seat would give Fox legitimacy it simply doesn’t deserve—not after years of race-baiting, smears against progressives and Democrats, and spreading right-wing propaganda 24/7.

So instead we’re calling on the Association to award the seat to one of our nation’s premiere news organizations, which has served the public for years and currently reaches an audience of 27 million.

Will you sign the petition today? Just click here:

http://pol.moveon.org/nprvsfox/?id=22165-3465982-dGGooJx&t=4

Thanks for all you do.

–Kat, Marika, Jeff, Duncan, and the rest of the team

Want to support our work? We’re entirely funded by our 5 million members—no corporate contributions, no big checks from CEOs. And our tiny staff ensures that small contributions go a long way. Chip in here.

I’ve got LOTS o’ tattoos.  Arms, legs, back, even my neck (very hardcore).  When I was young I didn’t think about getting older and looking like an old biker whore when my tits were down around my knees.  Who does?  But the following cartoon sent to me by a friend (in reference to me, I might add) spells it out perfectly…

What my future looks like in about 20 years

Wow...that's worse than "Mike Hunt" or "Dick Hertz"

 

We don’t know why real estate agents insist on putting their names and faces all over their signs. Isn’t the property or home the REAL reason you’re calling anyway? We get that they want to be personal, but sometimes the familiarity can backfire..like with the following realtors. The inclusion of a name like “Dick Balls,” “Gaye Males,” or “Ben Dover” can hardly help your sales.

via The Most Ridiculous Real Estate Agents Of All Time (PHOTOS)

Now, here’s a Queen I can admire!

Yo! Queenie!!

Flickr: The British Monarchy’s Photostream

I love the Queen.  She looks like me Mum.  And she’s kind to dogs.

Think he’s into domination? In a diaper. My jaw’s on the floor. Just when you think you’ve seen everything. Oh! And make sure you jot down that email address so you won’t forget. 😉

Great Auditorium in Ocean Grove

Usually full to the brim with Methodists, but you don't have to be one to enjoy it

Great Auditorium in Ocean Grove | APP.com | Monmouth and Ocean counties Features Photo Galleries | Asbury Park Press

Time for Cadaver and Treacle to reminisce and wax nostalgic.  I loved this place as a kid.  When the organ played, you could “feel” it in your bones.   I always thought the place was enormous … as an adult I realized it’s big but not immense.  The last time I was there as an adult was for a Judy Collins (I’m a huge fan) concert.  Cool place.  Great concert, too, as I remember it.  She’s talented and gorgeous … and can that lady sing?!?!?!  Oh … yeah!

My great-grandparents lived in Ocean Grove (Grandma Opdyke was a kind lady who always gave us peppermints and spare change for an ice cream cone), and it was amazing to see all those tents go up every summer.  Like almost overnight.  Those Methodists set up camp like a tribe of Lakota, with speed and efficiency.  And they were well decorated, let me tell ya.  Gorgeous inside … just like a miniature (expensive) house.  My brother and I liked to walk around at night when everyone was sitting outside.  No AC in those days (mid-1960’s) and everyone would sip cold drinks and swat mosquitoes or go for an evening stroll on the boardwalk. 

*sigh*  Sam Ewing was right: “When you finally go back to your old hometown, you find it wasn’t the old home you missed but your childhood”

I knew it was just a matter of time … and I know I’m gonna get some shit over it: I think ol’ Mel was provoked into that tirade.  That doesn’t make it right or OK.  I’m just sayin’.   Two sides to every coin, ya know?

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