Category: FAIL!


Palin has maintained that Obama’s effort to combat child obesity — which was recently aided by the passage of the Healthy, Hunger-Free Kids Act — is one that seeks to take away “God-given rights to make our own decisions.” Some have since slammed that comment as Palin’s demanding that Americans cling to their “God-Given right to be fat.”

via Sarah Palin Jabs Michelle Obama’s Anti-Obesity Campaign With S’mores

C&T: Why won’t this stupid cow Palin STFU? My apologies to those of a bovine nature.

SANTA ANA, Calif. — A Festivus for the rest of us? A convicted drug dealer in California thinks so. He cited his adherence to the holiday celebrated on a famous episode of “Seinfeld” to get better meals at the Orange County jail.

Festivus In Jail: Inmate Gets Kosher Meals Due To Festivus Belief

C&T:  This is funny and I can’t believe the judge fell for it.

Explosive marijuana experiment destroys freezer, fridge

COOS BAY, Ore. (AP) – Police say a man who tried to distill the active ingredient from marijuana using butane gas inadvertently caused an explosion that sent the door of his refrigerator through a wall in his home.

via Explosive marijuana experiment destroys freezer, fridge | APP.com | Asbury Park Press

C&T:  Calling all dumbasses!

Funny C&T Comment SPAM

Got a SPAM comment today in response to the “Suspect Denies Owning Cocaine Hidden in his Ass” post.  Goes to show you these SPAM assclowns don’t have a clue as to how obvious they are.  It reads as follows:

“Sorry for my bad english. Thank you so much for your good post. Your post helped me in my college assignment, If you can provide me more details please email me.”

So…I wonder what school he goes to?  What class would have shoved-up-the-ass-dope-smuggling as a topic?  What details may I include in my email?  Ah, the mystery…….ROFLMFAO!

For the second year in a row, The Daily Beast crunches the numbers for America’s 55 largest cities, ranking their brainpower from first-to-worst. How does your hometown fare?

via Ranking America’s Smartest, and Dumbest, Cities – The Daily Beast

C&T: I’ve lived here for 15 years and I can tell ya the level of STUPID around here astounds and amazes me daily.  Some may counter that the average IQ dropped significantly when I moved here.  Could be.  But the stupid here reflects not so much lack of education as lack of common sense. As in NONE.  Nada.  Zip.

The Funniest Store Placement Fails & Wins

 Stores do the best they can to stock aisles with similar products, making it easier to compare brands and find the things you want. But sometimes, whether for marketing purposes or just by accident, things are placed next to each other on a shelf in a seemingly ridiculous way. Why would you place condoms next to diapers? As a passive aggressive reminder?

via The Funniest Store Placement Fails & Wins (PHOTOS)

The Creepiest Vintage Halloween Costumes Ever

WTF is THAT? A unicorn? Holy Shit.
Today, dressing up for Halloween is more about novelty or sexiness rather than horror. But back in the day, the costumes not only skewed scary, but are now unintentionally frightening a few decades later. No matter what look these people were going for, the costumes look way creepier today. Seriously — your planned “zombie” costume with the make-up you bought at Party City looks like a pretty princess compared to some of these (except the Disney princesses below, they’re still creepy.)

Sh*t My Dad Smuggles In His Anus To Me In Prison

I'm shocked. He looks like a Rhodes Scholar.

After plotting over a monitored telephone with his imprisoned son, a California man traveled to a federal lockup in Colorado and sought to smuggle his offspring a golf ball-sized chunk of black tar heroin that he had wrapped in plastic and stashed in his anus.

via Sh*t My Dad Smuggles In His Anus To Me In Prison | The Smoking Gun

Oh, trust me, he wanks it all right.

Although private contractors or practices receive most of their business through word-of-mouth and personal references, it’s often necessary to solicit business by advertising to the masses. Unfortunately, a knack for a particular trade does not always translate to solid promotional instincts. Most ads promoting a realtor, lawyer or private contractor are exceedingly bland, but sometimes they really succeed at grabbing attention — even if it’s for unintended reasons. Here are some of the most bizarre, misguided or clumsy attempts at self-promotion.

via The Worst Instances Of Self-Promotion Ever (PHOTOS)

Suspect Denies Owning Cocaine Hidden in His Ass

OCTOBER 1–A Florida man arrested Wednesday on drug charges told cops that a bag of cocaine found hidden inside his buttocks did not belong to him. Though the suspect did cop to ownership of a bag of marijuana hidden alongside the coke.

via Suspect Denies Owning Cocaine In His Butt | The Smoking Gun

C&T: WTF?!  Hell, if I have TP stuck in my ass I know it.  And I OWN it.  Talk about an “assclown”.  I’ll say.  Extraordinaire.

Jail Attack Over Football Pastry Wager

SEPTEMBER 22–When paying off a gambling loss it is important to know that just because you come up with the bear claws does not mean you get a pass on the honey buns.

via Jail Attack Over Football Pastry Wager | The Smoking Gun

C&T:  Ya know, a lot may be riding on the jailhouse definition of “honey buns”.  Pun intended.

BUSTED! Parrot Arrested in Drug Sting

"Whatcha in for, kid?" "Squawkin'."

And finally this midday: They caught a real jailbird recently in Columbia…Lorenzo the parrot was arrested during a drug bust there.The charge? Aiding and abetting drug traffickers.  Lorenzo is trained as a lookout…and yells out a warning when police…or anyone suspicious to him…approaches…and, it turns out he is not alone in his criminal activities.  Animal officials say they’ve been given more than 1,000 birds trained as lookouts, this is one jailbird who won’t fly the coop any time soon.  

via Parrot Arrested in Drug Bust | keyc.tv  

C&T: I don’t know who wrote the above, but holy shit did I have to tidy it up a bit. Jesus!  And they work for a network…OH!  It’s FOX.  Never mind.  

For every quality reality show like “Top Chef” or “The Amazing Race,” there are a dozen degrading, offensive and downright tacky reality programs that make TV just a little bit dumber. Plenty of shows out there appeal to audiences’ worst nature and are chock full of kitschy, guilty pleasure value (we’re looking at you, VH1). But every so often we come across a show so indefensible, it makes us cringe at the fact that it was even picked up. Here’s a collection of some of the most inappropriate and classless shows to ever make it on television.

via The Most Inappropriate Reality Shows Of All Time (PHOTOS)

C&T: I’m not a fan of “reality” TV shows and never watch them; I think they’re more bullshit than actual reality.  I will admit a guilty pleasure: I have a huge “thing” for Gordon Ramsay.  Maybe because he’s a fellow Scot.  Anyway, it takes a LOT to disgust me.  A LOT.  But I can honestly say I absolutely despise the pedophile fest “Toddlers and Tiaras“.  Those poor kids are forced to perform by morbidly obese, ugly mothers with big hair living vicariously through their little girls.  These women will mortgage the farm to pay for everything BECAUSE WINNING IS EVERYTHING.  What the fuckin’ FUCK!?  I hope they choke on their stretch pants.

The Funniest Photoshop Fails Of All Time (PHOTOS)

 The Funniest Photoshop Fails Of All Time (PHOTOS)

Bummer. Sea burial botched as man’s body resurfaces

Ye fucked it up, me hearties!

FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. — Authorities suspected foul play when the body of a North Carolina man surfaced near a South Florida beach — until they found his obituary.

via Sea burial botched as man’s body resurfaces – U.S. news – Weird news – msnbc.com.

C&T: That’s gotta suck.

The story of how one lone idiot, pimping an 18th-century brand of community terrorism, held the media hostage and forced some of this nation’s most powerful people to their knees to fitfully beg an end to his wackdoodlery is an extraordinary one. It’s a modern media retelling of Faulkner’s “As I Lay Dying“, in which a gang of Islamaphobes, cast in the role of Addie Bundren, bamboozled the media into carrying their coffin full of malevolence on a journey of pure debasement.

via Quran Burning Story: This Is How The Media Embarrass Themselves

C&T:  I kept hounding the Old Man about this like he was a reporter.  I don’t understand how the media couldn’t see this asshole was a “media whore” simply looking for publicity.  Ane he got plenty of it at no cost.  He also stirred up every crazy hatemonger in the world.  What the fuckin’ FUCK!?

Yesterday, Copyranter caught an advertisement (pictured right) for French weekly Courrier International. The conceit of the advertisement, by Saatchi & Saatchi France, as put by Copyranter: “The World Trade Center architects should have stopped at about 50 floors. Look! The hijacked planes missed the shorter targets. Yay! Viva la Photoshop!”

The timing, three days before the ninth anniversary of September 11th, obviously isn’t great. Well, here are 10 ads as bad — and worse — than that one

via The 10 Very Worst 9/11-Themed Ads – New York News – Runnin’ Scared

Yet one more reason to avoid Facebook

NASHUA, N.H. — Nashua police are crediting an alert off-duty police officer who heard fireworks with cracking a burglary ring that targeted homes known to be empty because of Facebook postings.

via Police: Thieves Robbed Homes Based On Facebook Posts – News Story – WMUR Manchester

C&T: At the very least, disable “Facebook Places” and don’t announce you’re off on a cruise. Thx, mansonsturtle!

BEWARE! The ‘Here You Have’ Email Virus

A worm known affectionately as “Here You Have” based on the subject line of the infected e-mail used to propagate it has quickly spread into a global malware attack. The efficacy of the simple, and poorly worded e-mail luring users to click on a malicious link demonstrates why we need a whole new approach to malware defense.

via ‘Here You Have’ Virus Shows Security Weakness – PCWorld Business Center

 

Didn't I see these two in the movie "Barfly"?

 

Matthew Rayfield and Diane Orosz were having sex Tuesday afternoon behind a vacant house in Pompano Beach, Florida. Since the rear of the property was adjacent to the Intracoastal Waterway, “vessels were passing by continuously and witnessing the incident,” according to a Broward County Sheriff’s Office report. 

That’s when the “completely nude” couple’s tryst was interrupted by, of course, a Captain Wiener… 

via Captain Wiener Busts Florida Couple For Public Sex Escapade | The Smoking Gun 

And they’re such an attractive couple, don’t ya think?

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