- ATD: At The Doctor’s
- BFF: Best Friend Farted
- BTW: Bring The Wheelchair
- BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth
- CBM: Covered By Medicare
- CUATSC: See You At The Senior Center
- DWI: Driving While Incontinent
- FWB: Friend With Beta Blockers
- FWIW: Forgot Where I Was
- FYI: Found Your Insulin
- GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!
- GHA: Got Heartburn Again
- HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement
- IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On?
- LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out
- LOL: Living On Lipitor
- LWO: Lawrence Welk’s On
- OMMR: On My Massage Recliner
- OMSG: Oh My! Sorry, Gas.
- ROFL… CGU: Rolling On The Floor Laughing… And Can’t Get Up
- SGGP: Sorry, Gotta Go Poop
- TTYL: Talk To You Louder
- WAITT: Who Am I Talking To?
- WTFA: Wet The Furniture Again
- WTP: Where’s The Prunes?
- WWNO: Walker Wheels Need Oil
Our Scoutmaster Jim told us to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and got worried. We are okay. Only one of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Adam when it happened.
Oh yes, please call Adam’s mother and tell her he is okay. He can’t write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search and rescue Jeeps. It was great. We never would have found Adam in the dark if it hadn’t been for the lightning.
Scoutmaster Jim got mad at Adam for going on a hike alone without telling anyone. Adam said he did tell him, but it was during the fire so he probably didn’t hear him. Did you know that if you put gas on a fire, the gas will blow up?
The wet wood didn’t burn, but one of the tents did and also some of our clothes. Matthew is going to look weird until his hair grows back.
We will be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Cy gets the bus fixed. It wasn’t his fault about the crash. The brakes worked OK when we left. Scoutmaster Jim said that with a bus that old, you have to expect something to break down; that’s probably why he can’t get insurance.
We think it’s a super bus. He doesn’t care if we get it dirty, and if it’s hot, sometimes he lets us ride on the bumpers. It gets pretty hot with 45 people in a bus made for 24. He let us take turns riding in the trailer until the policeman stopped and talked to us.
Scoutmaster Jim is a neat guy. Don’t worry, he is a good driver. He always has one of us hold his beer so he can drive with both hands. In fact, he is teaching Horace how to drive on the mountain roads where there aren’t any cops. All we ever see up here are huge logging trucks.
This morning all of the guys were diving off the rocks and swimming out to the rapids. Scoutmaster Jim wouldn’t let me because I can’t swim, and Adam was afraid he would sink because of his cast (it’s concrete because we didn’t have any plaster), so he let us take the canoe out. It was great. You can still see some of the trees under the water from the flood.
Scoutmaster Jim isn’t crabby like some scoutmasters. He has to spend a lot of time working on the bus so we are trying not to cause him any trouble.
Guess what? We have all passed our first aid merit badges. When Andrew dove into the lake and cut his arm, we all got to see how a tourniquet works.
Steve and I threw up, but Scoutmaster Jim said it was probably just food poisoning from the left-over chicken. He said they got sick that way with food they ate in prison. I’m so glad he got out and became our scoutmaster. He said he sure figured out how to get things done better while he was doing his time. By the way, what is a pedal-file?
I have to go now. We are going to town to post our letters and buy some more beer and ammo. Don’t worry about anything. We are fine and tonight it’s my turn to sleep in the Scoutmaster’s tent.