Category: Critters & Varmints


TULSA, OK—Claiming with certainty that government agents were behind the unexplained deaths of several thousand redwing blackbirds in Arkansas this month, a mallard duck voiced suspicions Tuesday that the CIA has conducted a decades-long covert operation to decimate the nations bird population.

via Paranoid Duck Convinced CIA Killing Off U.S. Bird Population | The Onion – Americas Finest News Source

Latest Viral Video: Pattycake Cats

5,244,972 VIEWS!??!?  Holy cat shit!

Okay, okay, no more screwing around. Lets get serious here. I’ve been putting off running on this squeaky, plastic wheel all day long, and now its—Christ, is that clock right? Is it 10:30 already? Man oh man, it is way later than I thought. Looks like I got myself a long, long night of spinning a noisy wheel around in a circle here.  All right, squeaky wheel.  From now till dawn, its you and me, buddy. Weve gotta burn some midnight oil.

I’d love to just pass out right here in this pile of wood shavings, but this bad boy aint going to spin itself, you know what I’m saying? Do I wish Id gotten a head start on the wheel- running this morning instead of making a nest out of hair and paper scraps and curling up inside of it for five hours? Sure, of course. But hey, whats the use of worrying about “what if” when theres work to be done? Hell, I spin better at night anyway.

via This Squeaky Wheel And I Are Pulling An All-Nighter | The Onion – America’s Finest News Source

Related Articles

Fainting Kittens – WTF?!

Charlie and Spike are two kittens with myotonia congenita, otherwise known as ‘fainting goat‘ syndrome. at the slightest sound, the kittens respond by collapsing and falling into a rigid paralysis which lasts about a minute before they return to normal.

BUSTED! Parrot Arrested in Drug Sting

"Whatcha in for, kid?" "Squawkin'."

And finally this midday: They caught a real jailbird recently in Columbia…Lorenzo the parrot was arrested during a drug bust there.The charge? Aiding and abetting drug traffickers.  Lorenzo is trained as a lookout…and yells out a warning when police…or anyone suspicious to him…approaches…and, it turns out he is not alone in his criminal activities.  Animal officials say they’ve been given more than 1,000 birds trained as lookouts, this is one jailbird who won’t fly the coop any time soon.  

via Parrot Arrested in Drug Bust | keyc.tv  

C&T: I don’t know who wrote the above, but holy shit did I have to tidy it up a bit. Jesus!  And they work for a network…OH!  It’s FOX.  Never mind.  

Mini-moo: 33-inch cow named world’s smallest

LONDON — A minuscule cow with a taste for contemporary music has been named the world’s smallest by the Guinness World Records book. Guinness says the sheep-sized bovine from the West Yorkshire region of northern England measures roughly 33 inches from hind to foot.

The 11-year-old cow is named Swallow and her owner, Caroline Ryder, said she would spend Thursday either grazing with her herd or listening to BBC radio in her cowshed.

Awwwww...ain't he cute?

via Mini-moo: 33-inch cow named world’s smallest – TODAY Pets & Animals – TODAYshow.com.

Nutjob? Nutjob. Proper Opossum Analysis Part 1

Well, if you read this blog you already know how to properly massage your ‘possum.  Now, after giving your ‘possum a relaxing and stimulating massage, you can analyze it:

Quote from video: “Have you ever placed your opossum in front of a mirror?”  ROFLMAO

 

A wild-long tailed macaque monkey has adopted an abandoned kitten at Ubud’s Monkey Forest in Bali

via The monkey and the kitten | World news | guardian.co.uk

Funny comments left on Sylvester’s YouTube page because he’s one cussin’ cat.  You’re right, Sly….FUCK ‘EM!!!  Some people have NO sense of humor…

 

HARRISON, Michigan (NBC News Channel) — Sophie Thomas may own the world’s bravest cat.

The 97-year-old Harrison, Michigan resident was working in her garden recently when her neighbors four pit bulls surrounded her. Sophie says the dogs circled her, growling, before one lunged forward and bit her on the arm. She screamed and struck back, and as she did her cat Tiger jumped into the fray.

Tiger then bolted for the nearby garage. The dogs followed, giving Sophie a chance to escape into her house.As she was washing her wounds in the kitchen sink, she saw Tiger pop up at the door, unharmed.

The dogs are currently under quarantine and their owner has been fined.

via Cat saves 97-year-old woman from attacking pit bulls | WOAI.COM: San Antonio News

Funny Katz and Dawgs

Very funny and very “cat”.  It would appear that this cat just ain’t interested in the new puppy.  Clever dubbing.  “Sylvester!  Wake up and meet the new puppy!”

Not to be outdone in the funny video department, check out this dog’s reaction to a “fart machine”:

One bear was overheard to say: "these cops are harshin' my mellow, man ..."

 

Between 10 and 15 amiable black bears popped out of the Kootenay woods to greet the officers, Sgt. Fred Mansveld said. They were extraordinarily docile and mellow, Mansveld said.
via Ten or more black bears found guarding B.C. pot farm 

How does your cat wake you?

 

I love a happy ending!  And critters.

(08-10) 18:04 PDT San Francisco — If Jack Daniels could talk, he could probably explain everything. But alas, Jack can only meow. So it remains a mystery as to how the nearly blind black cat, abducted from the San Francisco Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals a year ago, ended up on the streets of Harlem last week.

via Abducted cat’s trek from S.F. to N.Y. a mystery

Hilarious!  That’s one happy turtle.  Maybe it’s his first time.

Damn!  When I read this video’s description was how to “give your ‘possum a proper massage”,  I thought it was a porn video.  Fooled again; but it is an unintentionally hilarious video. 

Tip: Don’t forget to lubricate your ‘possum’s tail from the base to the tip with slow steady strokes 3-4 times a week. 

Dirty birds force Kings of Leon off stage – NYPOST.com

 

Angry pet monkey terrorizes family  

 

I don’t blame the monkey.  Monkeys belong in the jungle, not in the living room.

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