Category: Assclowns


Angry McCain looks just like pugilistic otter

Railing against Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, shooting down an immigration bill he once sponsored, pushing his own changes to START – the tougher John McCain who emerged in the primaries may be here to stay.
When Sen. John McCain took the floor before the groundbreaking vote to repeal Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, he furiously told the Senate, “Today is a very sad day,” and announced, “There will be high-fives over all the liberal bastions of America,” from “the elite schools that bar military recruiters from campus” to “the salons of Georgetown.”

via John McCain’s Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, DREAM Votes and His Lasting Anger – The Daily Beast

C&T:  Oh my.  John McCain’s PISSED.  Who gives a rat’s ass?  Anyone?  Bueller?  No one?  High Five!

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Palin has maintained that Obama’s effort to combat child obesity — which was recently aided by the passage of the Healthy, Hunger-Free Kids Act — is one that seeks to take away “God-given rights to make our own decisions.” Some have since slammed that comment as Palin’s demanding that Americans cling to their “God-Given right to be fat.”

via Sarah Palin Jabs Michelle Obama’s Anti-Obesity Campaign With S’mores

C&T: Why won’t this stupid cow Palin STFU? My apologies to those of a bovine nature.

Fox News Comments was created to expose the audience that Fox News caters to. Every comment is posted as it was shown on foxnews.com or thefoxnation.com. Some of what you read will make you laugh, some of what you read will shock you. Fear-mongering and hate-mongering have proven a very successful ratings-grabber for Fox News, but it’s generated about as much hate and fear as can be expected. So stick around – you might learn a slur that should have been dead decades ago!

via Fox News Comments

C&T:  I can’t say I’m shocked at these comments…ya gotta consider the source, FOX News seems to cater to righteous inbred idiots.  It’s kind of scary, though, that there are so many nut jobs out there so filled with rage and hate.

He cries in TV interviews, he cries on the floor of the House of Representatives, he cries at the RNC. And he laughs all the way to the bank.

Why does talking about kids make incoming House Speaker John Boehner so weepy? Well, maybe because he’s about to screw over a whole generation of them. I know that would get me a bit misty. Still, I’d have to hydrate for most of the day to run the kind of irrigation Boehner does in every damn speech.

via Doug Molitor: 12 Things That Make Boehner Cry (Doug’s Dozen VIDEO)

C&T:  Sigh.  Just one more thing about John Boehner that irritates the living fuck outta me.  Ya know, if he was a woman, he’s be called “too emotional”.  But because he’s a man, he’s called (not by me) “sensitive”.  Bullshit.  I remain unimpressed.  Glenn Beck‘s a weeper, and so was Jimmy Swaggart.  Assclowns, all.

       

 

SANTA ANA, Calif. — A Festivus for the rest of us? A convicted drug dealer in California thinks so. He cited his adherence to the holiday celebrated on a famous episode of “Seinfeld” to get better meals at the Orange County jail.

Festivus In Jail: Inmate Gets Kosher Meals Due To Festivus Belief

C&T:  This is funny and I can’t believe the judge fell for it.

Funny C&T Comment SPAM

Got a SPAM comment today in response to the “Suspect Denies Owning Cocaine Hidden in his Ass” post.  Goes to show you these SPAM assclowns don’t have a clue as to how obvious they are.  It reads as follows:

“Sorry for my bad english. Thank you so much for your good post. Your post helped me in my college assignment, If you can provide me more details please email me.”

So…I wonder what school he goes to?  What class would have shoved-up-the-ass-dope-smuggling as a topic?  What details may I include in my email?  Ah, the mystery…….ROFLMFAO!

There’s no getting around the fact that politics are fueled by fear, from smear ads convincing us the other candidate is going to raise our taxes and take away our guns, to people trying to tell you that the President wasn’t born here and is going to kill our grandmas. That’s why we’re not surprised that Stephen Colbert wanted to hold a March To Keep Fear Alive (Now part of Jon Stewart‘s Rally To Restore Sanity And/Or Fear#. Colbert just wants to continue the time-honored tradition of scaring people into making important decisions. So, we chose 14 people #and animals/things) who keep fear alive in politics as well as our daily lives. We gave them our own rating from 1-10 Colbert heads (of course), but tell us what you think by voting for the scariest one!

via Keeping Fear Alive: 14 People & Things Doing Their Part (PHOTOS)

 Miami, Florida (CNN) — Tony Louzado is facing foreclosure. He’s not alone — in central Florida, where Louzado lives and works, one in every 56 homes is in foreclosure.

That simple number, from foreclosure data firm RealtyTrac, doesn’t tell the whole story, especially in Louzado’s case. Two different law firms are pushing the foreclosure — on the same mortgage.

via Are some law firms cutting corners on foreclosures? – CNN.com

C&T:  WTF?!  This is bullshit and may be criminal.  There’s always some scumbag  profiting from someone else’s misery and loss.  These vermin are the lowest of the low. It makes me sick.

Is Vicky Hartzler the most anti-gay House Republican candidate in America?

Hartzler, who’s running in Missouri’s 4th Congressional District, opposes gay marriage, hate-crimes laws, and the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” Those positions are common among congressional Republicans. But Hartzler has done more than merely take the standard GOP positions opposing gay rights—she has made a name for herself as an anti-gay crusader.

via Is Vicky Hartzler the Most Anti-Gay Candidate in America? | Mother Jones

C&T:  YES I mean, even hate crime lawsWTF. Yet another stupid c**t graduate of the Ann Coulter School of Idiocy.

Man Stabbed For Blood Suck Refusal | The Smoking Gun

OCTOBER 8–An Arizona man who had previously allowed two roommates to suck his blood was stabbed earlier this week after refusing the duo’s demand to repeat the bizarre act.

via Man Stabbed For Blood Suck Refusal | The Smoking Gun

The Worst Instances Of Self-Promotion Ever

Oh, trust me, he wanks it all right.

Although private contractors or practices receive most of their business through word-of-mouth and personal references, it’s often necessary to solicit business by advertising to the masses. Unfortunately, a knack for a particular trade does not always translate to solid promotional instincts. Most ads promoting a realtor, lawyer or private contractor are exceedingly bland, but sometimes they really succeed at grabbing attention — even if it’s for unintended reasons. Here are some of the most bizarre, misguided or clumsy attempts at self-promotion.

via The Worst Instances Of Self-Promotion Ever (PHOTOS)

Suspect Denies Owning Cocaine Hidden in His Ass

OCTOBER 1–A Florida man arrested Wednesday on drug charges told cops that a bag of cocaine found hidden inside his buttocks did not belong to him. Though the suspect did cop to ownership of a bag of marijuana hidden alongside the coke.

via Suspect Denies Owning Cocaine In His Butt | The Smoking Gun

C&T: WTF?!  Hell, if I have TP stuck in my ass I know it.  And I OWN it.  Talk about an “assclown”.  I’ll say.  Extraordinaire.

Facebook “ugly baby” comment sparks stabbing

msnbc.com

 

Consider it a modern version of the Hatfields versus McCoys, courtesy of Facebook. A Wheaton woman and her teenage daughter are charged with attacking another local mom and daughter with steak knives in a dispute fueled by disparaging comments posted on the popular social networking site. 

via Daily Herald | Facebook dispute sparks Wheaton stabbing 

C&T: I rest my case about Facebook.  It ain’t safe. Thx for all the links today, julieg!  

Nobody ever said Ann Coulter was going to play nice during her time at Homocon, a summit held by the gay conservative group GOProud over the weekend, not even the organizers who insisted that she be there. Perhaps it came as little surprise to them, then, when the conservative pundit stood before the group of 150 attendees and aggressively railed against gay marriage.

via Ann Coulter To Gay Conservatives: Marriage ‘Is Not A Civil Right — You’re Not Black’

C&T: The bitch is at it again.  Does she NEVER shut the fuck up?  I can’t stand this idiot.

Jail Attack Over Football Pastry Wager

SEPTEMBER 22–When paying off a gambling loss it is important to know that just because you come up with the bear claws does not mean you get a pass on the honey buns.

via Jail Attack Over Football Pastry Wager | The Smoking Gun

C&T:  Ya know, a lot may be riding on the jailhouse definition of “honey buns”.  Pun intended.

While much of the 2010 election is focused on the economy, there’s another issue quietly simmering which underscores a shift in the Republican Party: abortion. Specifically, an increasing number of GOP candidates — especially ones receiving heavy support from the Tea Party movement — not only oppose abortion, but want to bar women who have been victims of rape or incest from having access to the procedure.

via As Palin Goes, So Goes The GOP: Growing Number Of Candidates Oppose Abortion In Cases Of Rape, Incest

C&T: I’m speechless.  Bar women who have been victims of rape or incest from having an abortion?  Have they finally lost their collective mind?  Yes, “mind”.  Singular.  And I think I might be exaggerating.  Truly ugly misogyny, approved by the GOP.  WTF. 

“I’m a ‘Christian’ sez one…’God will intercede.’ 

I say: “Go fuck yourself.  Tell that to someone who’s poor, desperate and at the end of their emotional rope.  Or someone the victim of rape or incest.  Why didn’t your God intercede when THAT was going on?  Not gonna get into the “free will” debate.  But I would like to point out it does work both ways.  Either God “intercedes” or he doesn’t.  Can’t have God intercede only when it’s convenient for YOU. P.S. You’re an idiot.”

BUSTED! Parrot Arrested in Drug Sting

"Whatcha in for, kid?" "Squawkin'."

And finally this midday: They caught a real jailbird recently in Columbia…Lorenzo the parrot was arrested during a drug bust there.The charge? Aiding and abetting drug traffickers.  Lorenzo is trained as a lookout…and yells out a warning when police…or anyone suspicious to him…approaches…and, it turns out he is not alone in his criminal activities.  Animal officials say they’ve been given more than 1,000 birds trained as lookouts, this is one jailbird who won’t fly the coop any time soon.  

via Parrot Arrested in Drug Bust | keyc.tv  

C&T: I don’t know who wrote the above, but holy shit did I have to tidy it up a bit. Jesus!  And they work for a network…OH!  It’s FOX.  Never mind.  

For every quality reality show like “Top Chef” or “The Amazing Race,” there are a dozen degrading, offensive and downright tacky reality programs that make TV just a little bit dumber. Plenty of shows out there appeal to audiences’ worst nature and are chock full of kitschy, guilty pleasure value (we’re looking at you, VH1). But every so often we come across a show so indefensible, it makes us cringe at the fact that it was even picked up. Here’s a collection of some of the most inappropriate and classless shows to ever make it on television.

via The Most Inappropriate Reality Shows Of All Time (PHOTOS)

C&T: I’m not a fan of “reality” TV shows and never watch them; I think they’re more bullshit than actual reality.  I will admit a guilty pleasure: I have a huge “thing” for Gordon Ramsay.  Maybe because he’s a fellow Scot.  Anyway, it takes a LOT to disgust me.  A LOT.  But I can honestly say I absolutely despise the pedophile fest “Toddlers and Tiaras“.  Those poor kids are forced to perform by morbidly obese, ugly mothers with big hair living vicariously through their little girls.  These women will mortgage the farm to pay for everything BECAUSE WINNING IS EVERYTHING.  What the fuckin’ FUCK!?  I hope they choke on their stretch pants.

STUPID CRIMINALS: World’s Biggest Hat Enthusiast Arrested

We’re guessing this Florida resident didn’t consider the police station’s “no hats” policy when he decided to hit his teen son with a BB gun pellet, but based on the nature of the crime it’s obvious he doesn’t do very much thinking at all. Tabloid Prodigy brings us this ridiculous mugshot from the world’s biggest hat enthusiast, who will hopefully learn a valuable lesson in parenting, if not sunscreen application, from this embarrassing experience.

via STUPID CRIMINALS: World’s Biggest Hat Enthusiast Arrested (PHOTO)

Nation Once Again Comes Under Sway Of Pink-Faced Half-Wit

Assclown Extraordinaire

NEW YORK—Following an Aug. 28 rally in Washington, D.C. attended by an estimated 87,000 Americans, experts confirmed this week that the U.S. populace appears to have fallen under the spell of yet another pink-faced half-wit.

via Nation Once Again Comes Under Sway Of Pink-Faced Half-Wit | The Onion – America’s Finest News Source

 

C&T:  As anyone who reads my blog regularly knows, I LOVE The Onion.  ROFLMFAO!  I’m in TEARS.  Too bad it’s kinda TRUE.  For example, a quote:

“This particular pink-faced half-wit is at the height of his persuasive powers,” Ellington said of the bloated, hateful multimillionaire. “By exploiting citizens’ greatest anxieties during an uncertain time in our nation’s history, the pink-faced half-wit has been able to promote his own vain, avaricious self-interests under the guise of standing up for the very disenfranchised people whom he himself is fleecing.”

😀

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