Are these gals excited? Whipped into a frenzy, sez I.  Foaming at the mouth. 

They go off the deep end when she wins the semifinals.  I’d pay cold hard cash to see what they’d do if she won the pageant.  I understand their excitement, though, I react the same way every time the Old Man scoops the litter box or takes out the trash without being asked.  Sometimes I weep.  It’s like winning the fuckin’ lottery.